Saturday Game Night
by jAsMiNeLoVeStWiLiGhT
Summary: The Cullen family tries to make it a ritual that they all come together on Saturday and play games. The odd games that are soon to be played freighten even me, and I'm a freak. I'm such a freak, I'll kill you in your sleep if you don't review.
1. Poker

DISCLAIMER: No, genius, I do not own Twilight. Well.. OK..i do. (not)

Rose's POV

It was Saturday game night; Edward, Bella, Emmett, and I were all sitting around the poker table waiting for Jasper and Alice. Last Saturday, Jasper and Alice didn't even show up. Their excuse was: "We were so caught up in this movie, we didn't even notice it was time." LIKE WE BELIEVED THAT.

"Let's just start without them. They're probably too caught up in a 'movie'," Edward said, catching onto my irritation.

"Yay! I love beating you guys at this!" Emmett said, clearly thrilled.

We played poker for about an hour, and Bella was starting to get bored. She couldn't read minds, and she was not very good, so she thought there was no reason to even bother. Emmett seized the opportunity and got out his stick. The stick was really a pool stick, but he called it a poker stick because he only used it in poker. "Poker Stick! HAHA. Get it? Poke her stick during poker? P-P-P-poker stick! (Mum Mum Mum Mah!) P-P-P-poker stick! (Mum Mum Mum Mah!)" He started violently poking and hitting her back. She was spaced out until he started doing that. At that nanosecond, she slapped him across the face so hard you know it had to sting.

"See Edward?" She looked at him, anger in her eyes, "This is why I hate Saturday game nights sometimes. Your stupid brother has to ruin everything and hit me," Bella scowled.

"But Bell-" Emmett was stopped short.

"Don't even go there."

"Some one has their tampon wedged up the wrong way tonight!" Emmett exclaimed annoyingly.

"Emmett, remember? We're vampires? We don't...do that," I looked at him with a look that said, "Dumb ass."

"Well, she could still enjoy the pleasure of knowing she could still use one," He looked at Bella mockingly.

"Shut up. Emmett," We all said synchronously.

He started pouting with those gorgeous lips of his. "I love you guys..."

"You're so annoying, Emmett," Bella sneered at him.

"But I- Oh whatever. I'm going home." He stood up and started walking towards the door.

"No you're not; you know you want to stay here with us." Edward pleaded.

"OK..." Hanging his head, Emmett walked back to the poker table. By that time, we weren't playing poker anymore, just talking.

LATER THAT NIGHT:

The boob tube had been turned on, considering we had guys in the house, it didn't surprise me or Bella. Edward was flipping through the channels, indecisive as always; Bella was commenting on everything that popped up on the magical box's screen.

"Wow, she's pretty." "I wish I looked like that." "Does she ever eat?" "Aww. Look at that monkey." A cow popped up on the screen. "That's a nice looking hamburger," She said thoughtfully.


	2. Lemons

DISCLAIMA: I'm black. Stephanie Meyer is white. Get the idea? She owns Twilight and all the hot guys in it. I DON'T. Why do I have to keep telling you this?

Bella's POV

I was hoping that this Saturday would be batter than the last. I ended up taking Emmett's stick and shoving it up his...well... let's just say he can't walk very well. Rose laughed, but she got mad afterwards when he was sobbing uncontrollably. Edward and I decided to just walk to Esme's house so we could get some alone time before we had to face up to Emmett again.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered in his ear.

"I know you do; If you didnt, you wouldnt put up with my family..." His laugh echoed throughout Forks.

"What game should we play tonight?" Rose asked introspectively.

"How about Twister?" Emmett pleaded with evil in his eyes.

"No, you perv."

"I wasn't thinking of it in a nasteh way..." He looked at her innocently and batted his eye lashes.

"Whatever. Let's play the lemon game," I suggested nonchalantly, even though I wanted to do it so badly I wanted to jump up and down.

"What is that?" Emmett asked in a puzzled tone.

"You, of all people, don't know what the lemon game is?" We all stared at him skeptically. I started explaining it. "Now let's start."

"I can lick it," Emmett said, trying to be calm and collected.

"I can suck it," Rose growled at Emmett.

"I could squeeze it," Edward looked at me wagging his eyebrows.

"I could peel it," I tried to keep my straight face.

"I want to eat it," Emmett looked at Rose suggestively.

"I would love getting all of the juice out of it," Rose giggled.

"I could bite it," Edward said. "Or nibble on it." He looked at me sensually.

"Why's everyone looking at me? Remember? I'm the angel. I have no more. I will have no part in your dirty, little game." I stuck up my nose.

"YOU STARTED IT THOUGH!" Emmett laughed like a hyena.

"What game should we do now?" I asked, ignoring Emmett's commenting.

"As long as we're messing with lemons...." I said, remembering a game I played as a child.

"NO! Not one of your dirty, little games again!" Emmett mocked me, again.

"It's not that bad. It's just the necking game." I replied.

"Not that bad? Necking? Of course, because we all play games about necking..."He trailed off.

"No. You put a lemon between your chin and your neck; someone then gets it from you with their chin and neck. DUH. You're so oblivious." I rolled my eyes. We started trying to play it, but failed. We ended up just necking. Edward and I were rolling around half naked. Emmett and Rose were moaning behind the couch. We didn't even want to think about asking what they were doing... so much for 'family nights'...


	3. Twister

Disclaiming Twilight: OK...this is disclaiming it. Not disowning. I still love twilight. I just don't own it. It's sad, right?

Bella's POV

It was Saturday night again. I was dreading our little 'family bonding time'. I knew Emmett would still be making fun of me about last Saturday. Even though I had the best games in the world. I had been thinking up more games that I had played as a kid. I mostly had played board games like monopoly. I knew this: if Jasper or Edward lost at a board game, they would both snap the pieces in half. So for tonight, I had brought my Twister mat and spinner. Edward popped up by my side as I was struggling to put the mat and spinner in a bag to carry over to Mom's house.

"Hey, love. You having fun?" he smirked.

"Shut up, EDDY. I am having fun, as a matter of fact. I just love struggling and being laughed at," I scowled.

"I love you," he looked at me with those golden eyes, pleading for forgiveness.

"Ugh. Don't look at me like that. I love you too..."

When we got to Mom's house, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose were sitting around the living room happily. Alice was on Jasper's lap; Emmett was giving Rose a lap dance.

"Emmett? Why are you giving HER a lap dance? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"I asked, truly puzzled.

Jasper answered for him, "You might want to just let him finish. The last time I tried to get him to stop, he bit me." Jasper held up his hand, showing the scar.

"Ouchie," I said and subconsciously backed up a step.

"Nah," Jasper said nonchalantly. "You getting that paper cut on your birthday hurt worse for me."

"Oh..."

"LET'S GET STARTED!" Alice yelled happily.

I took out the Twister mat and spinner. As soon as I did, Emmett stop grinding Rose and ran to me. Emmett's phone rang. "Hello? Yeah. No. We're playing Twister, if ya know what I'm sayin'! Yes. Of course it's with my brother's hot wife. NO! You can't come. This is our time. Bye."

"Who was that, baby?" Rose asked suspiciously.

"Nobody, Just Embry,"Emmett cleared his throat.

I set up the stuff,and it was Emmett's turn first. Then Rose. Then Alice, Jasper, Edward, and me. We ended up playing for an hour, being able to bend into almost physically impossible positions. Finally, Emmett messed up, and we all fell. Edward made a weird face right before Emmett said, "Can I take my clothes off?"

"Whatever. It's not like it will phase me." I rolled my eyes.

"WAIT! Let's make it worth something." Jasper's voice came from behind us.

We all looked at him because he never said stuff like this. We kept looking until he explained.

"Every time someone messes up, two articles of clothing have to go." He looked at us all and wagged his eyebrows.

"OK." We all agreed, but I was almost scared.

I, of course, was the first to mess up. I took off my socks. Edward whispered in my ear, "Take It off, Babeh. Take it off!" If I was still human, I would have blushed.

Within the first 30 minutes, we were all down to panties and bras. Emmett looked the funniest because he had chosen tonight as his 'bra night'. He takes one random day out of each month and wears one of Rose's bras. He was in pink, Hannah Montana boxers and a lacy bra.

By the time we should have all been naked, we were in pairs again. Making out. This whole family thing wasn't working out too well when we couldn't go three hours without messing around.


	4. Do You Like?

**Rose's POV**

"Ok! Tonight, we will be experimenting with blindfolds and love," Bella announced. Emmett laughed evilly and rubbed his chin, pretending to think; we all knew he never thought. "The game tonight is 'Do you like what you feel?'. If you're 'it', you sit it someone's lap, blindfolded. You feel of them, trying to figure out who it is. Someone will ask you, "Do you like what you feel?" You say yes or no, depending on if you love the person you're sitting on. In order to spice it up a bit, I brought in some friends." Bella perkily explained. In walked in the dogs: Jacob, Sam, Leah, and Paul. That was...interesting.

Bella went first. Edward put her blindfold on her and sat her in Leah's lap. Bella put her hands on Leah's neck and rubbed them down to her belly. "Did you like what you felt?" asked Edward.

"No. I did not like what I felt." Leah almost looked hurt. I don't think she understood it.

"SO YOU FEEL UP ON ME, AND YOU DIDN'T ENJOY IT?" She screamed. Jacob, who had apparently played the game before, explained. "Oh...OK."

It was Alice's turn. Jasper put her blindfold over her eyes and put her in Sam's lap. She ran her hands through his long, black hair. She then—oh god-- slid her hands down his abs. Jasper screamed, and Alice giggled.

"Did you like what you felt?" Jasper asked, clearly upset.

"YES. I _loved _what I felt."

It was my turn. Emmett put my blindfold on me and steered me to sit in some guy's lap. I knew it was a guy because...well...I felt his...excitement. I moved my hands slowly down his stomach. DAMN. He has nice abs. I was tempted to kiss him. (Edward made vomiting noises behind me.) I leaned in to kiss him, and Emmett tackled whoever I was on. He then asked, "Did you like what you felt?" in a tight voice.

"Yes, Baby. I loved it, and I love you." I took my blindfold off. OH. MY. GOD. I had been sitting in JACOB'S lap. THAT MUTT. HE ENJOYED IT TOO.


	5. Proposition

OK. I have a new proposition. For anyone who reviews at least two times on a story, I am going to start making a chapter dedicated to them. This 'proposition' was inspired by: Stargirl100. She thanked me. I got mentioned in someone else's story! Be proud of me.


	6. Awshum

You. Guys. Are. Making. Me. So. Happy. You reviewed on my story! A lot! Hehe.

CatherineTwilighter (3)

Emma Rose1 (4)

-cries- I LOVE YOU.


	7. Duck Duck Squirt

**Bella's POV**

Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Jacob, Nessie Edward, and I were all sitting in a circle, whispering about what game they should play. I stood up.

"I have a game!" I said happily. Everyone (figuratively) held their breaths. "It's called 'duck, duck, squirt'." Emmett laughed evilly. "It's like 'duck, duck, goose', but instead of saying goose, you say squirt. You squirt whoever you want to be 'it' and run. They chase you until they catch you. When they catch you, they are free to do one horrible (but not nasty) thing to you," I said. I talked so fast, I would have been out of breath, if I wasn't a vampire.

"Me first! Me first!" Emmett screamed and jumped up and down like a little kid at Christmas. I gave him the squirt gun and sat down in the circle. "Duck. Duck. Duck. Duck. SQUIRT!" He squirted Rose.

"I have a white t-shirt on!" She squealed and chased Emmett.

**Edward's POV**

Emmett's thoughts were horrible. I winced as I saw them going through his mind. Everyone was vaguely amused, but Rose was madder than I had ever seen her. Had she not seen it coming?

I felt horrible for Jasper. As I heard the screams from outside, I knew what emotions were coming off that revolting couple.

When they finally came back, Rose was drenched, and Emmett had bite marks on his neck. "Game over." Emmett said smugly.

**A/N: Don't complain because the chapters are 'too short'. I'm updating _all_ of of my stories today. WOOOT**


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